Drum Phil

I must have some unconfessed pride in my life right now because I usually get brought down a notch when I do. The instrument of my humility on this occasion was the medley of songs we played in our church.

To understand this fully, you will need to know a few things about me. First of all I’m an introverted perfectionist. So this basically means I like to think about my expressions before expressing them. I want everything I do to be perfect, which of course it never is, and so usually by the time I’ve come up with the right thing to say or do the moment has passed forever. A great deal of everything else I regret. I will lie on my bed at night and sigh about something minor that happened decades ago.

Music of course is expression and with most musical expression the average listener will allow a middling musician to arrive at a note a ½ second early or near perfect tone but that doesn’t really work with percussion. If you’re not perfect everyone knows it and I am the imperfect percussionist in our worship team. At times I struggle with a song or two but can usually do well in general.

Sometimes, to enhance the message of the song, the worship leader will change the tempo of the song. My personal favourite is to slow the tempo down at the end of the chorus real worshipful like and then to start the next verse at full speed again. This is fun for the drummer because he has to guess how to slow down with the group and then read the leader’s mind to figure out when to start again and at what tempo. If the drummer doesn’t get it right he will usually add a half bar of kick beats in to get back in step. But if he loses his cool he sometimes starts to play chaotically or he stops altogether. It happens.

I’ve changed the drummers name to protect what’s left of his confidence. We’ll call the poor fellow… Phil.

There was no logical explanation for what happened. Before practice Phil was relaxed and joking with the other musicians.

“How can you tell if the stage is level?”, The Euphonium player asked Phil.

“I dunno”, says Phil.

“There’s drool on both sides of the drum kit. Haw! Haw!”, he laughs.

The Euphonium player’s wife, who was in the kitchen getting the coffee started, overheard the conversation and stuck up for Phil, “Hey, what about Euphonium players?”

“Yeah, the only drool I’ve seen is from your instrument”, Phil shot back.

All joking aside, practice before the service went off without a hitch. Phil felt comfortable and played all the songs with ease. All the songs were 4/4 no 3/4, no 6/8 or 7/4. Simple.

The worship leader started the first song and Phil kept time for precisely two bars and then something horrible happened. He began to drift from the beat. Phil and the song were like two windshield washers moving at slightly different speeds. Dragging slightly then rushing ahead but never quite matching the song’s tempo. Sometimes, there is a split second when you realize that you’ve added something extra or left something out and it feels like a great fingernail scratching across a blackboard in your mind. But one extra beat or the lack of one no one else will notice, as long as you come back when everyone expects you to.

But Phil didn’t come back when anyone expected him to.

“One and two and three and four and”, Phil counted to himself and stared through the ceiling up to the heavens above.

In every congregation there is a group of people who can’t clap. Yes there is. If you don’t know this you’re likely one of them. These people, if they’re loud enough, can be an annoyance to a drummer. Today, even the off-clappers were looking at Phil wondering what was up. They stared as if to say “Hey we may not be clapping on the 2 or 4 but we’re clapping around the 1 and 3 and we can’t even tell what you’re doing”

He continued to play but didn’t get any better. Rattled and wanting to run, the blood was leaving his extremities and rushing to his head and chest. At this point even if his mind could pick up the timing of the song and resume sending instructions to his limbs they couldn’t do what they were being asked to do with no oxygen.

“Oh God please let this song be over soon”, Phil prayed

The song ended but the beat went on. Phil’s instructor had once told him to visualize something when he plays. If you’re playing something light and beautiful think of something beautiful like a silver moon hanging in a starry sky. If you’re playing something funky maybe think of an old growth tree with gnarled roots in a mossy forest floor. When Phil closed his eyes he saw the same thing as when they were wide open, a darkening red vortex spinning counter clockwise. In the calm before the next song he took a deep breath and recalled his mantra for this scenario “Keep it simple, no fills, no extra 16th notes, quarter notes on the hi-hat and ½ notes on the snare and kick”.

There may be a day in the future when Phil would play every beat in perfect time, every crash of the cymbal eloquently placed, but it would not be this day. This day Phil was like a boat adrift on the ocean and there was nothing he could do about it. The rest of the group bravely soldiered on but they had clearly lost faith in Phil’s timing. Phil searched for someone in the mix that was keeping time that he could grab onto and fall in beside.

There was no satisfactory conclusion for Phil, there were moments when he got it right and sometimes he strung several moments together to make up a few bars but barely. I’m not sure if he’ll ever recover from this. He may never play in church again. You may think him melodramatic but I can tell you that I can imagine exactly how he must’ve felt. To be subjected to that for 30mins and not know why or when it will happen again. I certainly wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to go through that again.

Apart from God I can do nothing. I think that’s the lesson for me. So often I say to God “I’ve got it from here” When really I need Him every day. Even for the simplest things. Maybe instead of “Oh God please let the song be over” the prayer should’ve been “God please give me your strength to get through this”. I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him. - 1 John 5:13 – 15

Contend, O LORD with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me. Take up shield and buckler; arise and come to my aid. Brandish spear and javelin against those who pursue me. Say to my soul, “I am your salvation.” – Psalm 35:1-3

Slave to sin or slave to righteousness?

I’ve been reading Romans 3 – 10 over and over and I’ve gotten hung up on what seems like a contradiction when I read Romans 6 – 8 in sequence. This portion of his letter to the Romans is extraordinary when you compare it to what Paul says before and afterwards.

In Romans 7:18-19 Paul was unable to do the good that he wanted to and forced to do evil but he’s comfortable telling the Romans in chapter 6
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? - Romans 6:1-2

In Romans 7:23-25 sin was dwelling in Paul, holding his body captive and forcing him to sin but the chapter before he wrote this… “knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin.” – Romans 6:6-7

And

Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace. – Romans 6:12-14

Did Paul as a Christian once justified, crucified with Christ and walking in the Spirit serve God with his mind but continue to serve sin with his body?

Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. – Romans 6:3-4
Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 6:11

Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. – Romans 6:16-18

How can Paul tell the Romans to use their bodies as slaves of righteousness if he himself wasn’t set free from sin?

I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness. – Romans 6:19
But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 6:22-23

The only possible explanation I can think of is that it isn’t a contradiction but a contrast. Its possible that Paul presented the truths out of sequence to highlight the differences between our old lives and our new lives in Christ. In Romans 6 he clearly states the believer is dead to sin and in Romans 7 he uses an illustration of a woman married to one man becoming free to marry another when her first husband dies. He describes the sinner as locked in a struggle with sin. And then in chapter 8 the believer is once again not controlled by the sinful nature but by the Spirit of God.

You however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit. If the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you. - Romans 8:9-11

Lovely mammon

I have always viewed the parable found in Luke 16 as a curiosity. In this case what Jesus said seemed to contradict what I believed. So I ignored it.

Here it is see what you think…

Now He was also saying to the disciples, "There was a rich man who had a manager, and this manager was reported to him as squandering his possessions. And he called him and said to him, 'What is this I hear about you? Give an accounting of your management, for you can no longer be manager.'

"The manager said to himself, 'What shall I do, since my master is taking the management away from me? I am not strong enough to dig; I am ashamed to beg. 'I know what I shall do, so that when I am removed from the management people will welcome me into their homes.'

"And he summoned each one of his master's debtors, and he began saying to the first, 'How much do you owe my master?' "And he said, 'A hundred measures of oil.' And he said to him, 'Take your bill, and sit down quickly and write fifty.' "Then he said to another, 'And how much do you owe?' And he said, 'A hundred measures of wheat.' He said to him, 'Take your bill, and write eighty.'

"And his master praised the unrighteous manager because he had acted shrewdly; for the sons of this age are more shrewd in relation to their own kind than the sons of light. "And I say to you, make friends for yourselves by means of the wealth of unrighteousness, so that when it fails, they will receive you into the eternal dwellings.

He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much. "Therefore if you have not been faithful in the use of unrighteous wealth, who will entrust the true riches to you? "And if you have not been faithful in the use of that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own?

No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other You cannot serve God and wealth."

Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, were listening to all these things and were scoffing at Him. And He said to them, "You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.

The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John; since that time the gospel of the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it. But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one stroke of a letter of the Law to fail.

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. - Luke 16:
1-18

Quite a few years ago I heard a speaker read this parable. He said what he believed it meant is that we need to be good stewards of our money. And part of being a good steward meant being crafty with our money if we did that then we'd be successful on Earth.

Honestly, that didn't sit well with me and I think that doesn't agree with Scripture.

I've also heard it said that the unjust person in the parable was not steward but the rich man who dismissed him on hearsay or a false accusation. But that doesn't explain why Jesus seems to contradict himself when on one hand he says "And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations." and then he tears into the Pharisees for being lovers of money followed by the strangely random statement at the end about divorce. There has to be more to it than this?

I've done a pretty good job of ignoring this parable for about 8 years but it has irritated me like a pebble in my shoe. This past summer I redoubled my efforts to shake it out. So I spent a lot of time praying about and meditating on it.

I think the parable is about the Pharisees. Jesus makes this pretty clear when he says “"You are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts; for that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.”

The Pharisees could see that they were being removed from the stewardship of God’s word and it was being passed to another. I can only assume that they were trying to hold onto their influence with the Jewish people by reinterpreting God’s word. I believe Jesus was being sarcastic when He said to them make friends by unrighteous mammon because you can’t serve both and you have lost your place as stewards of the Word.

It’s possible that they were telling people that it was ok to divorce their wives but Jesus was saying that it would be easier for them to move heaven and earth than to change one letter in God’s law. It's also possible he was chastising them by way of analogy for divorcing God and attaching themselves to mammon.

This is a good warning for the church today we’ve made lots of convenient interpretations to God’s Word to satisfy itching ears. I want to go to a church where I feel warm and fuzzy when I walk out the door. I don’t want to be convicted or challenged. It’s ok to have lots of money while others can’t eat. It’s ok to sin. It’s ok to live for myself. In fact God wants us all to be rich and healthy, if someone isn’t then they must not have enough faith or they're not doing God’s will. If I'm rich isn't that proof that I have God's blessing?

That’s garbage “that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God”

Did Jesus say, “in this world you will have health, peace or prosperity?”

No He said we would have trouble but “everyone is forcing his way into (the gospel)”

God's rest

This thought has brought me comfort recently.

There is a scene from The Return of the King that I will never forget. Pippin and Gandalf are in a courtyard within the city of Minas Tirith. The city is falling and being overrun. Gandalf and Pippin with drawn swords are preparing themselves for the final assault while their enemies pound on the gates outside.

Pippin looks at Gandalf in despair, “I didn’t think it would end like this”

Gandalf who had been watching the gate with concern turns to Pippin ”End?” and then as he looks at Pippen, he added softly, “no the journey doesn’t end here”

“Death is just another path, one that we all must take ...
The grey rain curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver glass
And then you see it…”

“What Gandalf?” Pippin pleads “See what?”

Gandalf looks off into the distance, “White shores… and beyond… a far green country under a swift sunrise”

Into the west – Annie Lennox

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling you have come to journey’s end

Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling from across the distant shores

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?

Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms
You’re only sleeping

What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea a pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling out of memory and time

Don’t say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling, you and I will meet again

And you’ll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea a pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn to silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass
Into the west

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

But you, go your way till the end; for you shall rest, and will arise to your inheritance at the end of the days. - Daniel 12:13