Shameful

I think alot of Christians today are operating under the delusion that being a Christian can be "cool". I think this might be one of the root problems with the Church today.

Its like Fruity O's and Fruit loops. As a kid I loved Fruit Loops and I have never been tempted to buy the no-name generic equivalent "Fruity O's". Fruit Loops are not healthy and they are not attempting to copy any other cereal. "Fruity O's" on the other hand are trying to attract the Fruit Loop lovers as if to say "hey we can be just like your favourite cereal for less money"
Being a believer is not cool. Not because we're trying to be like the world and vying for the world's attention, that's just sad. It's not cool because being cool implies honour. Honour received from the world around us and the church at its heart is counter to what is esteemed by the world. Take for instance the Apostles of the early church. They were fools for Christ, weak and despised (1Cor 5:10). Not cool.

Believers are weak and must rely on the Holy Spirit for strength (2 Cor 12:9-10). Strength to walk in the Spirit and not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, strength to get through each day, every day carrying about the death of our bodies. We are the stench of death to the world (2 Cor 2:15-16). Have you ever smelled death? I have and it is the worst kind of smell. Our belief is sometimes called a crutch, its not. Its an entire life support system.

We have become fools for Christ. To the world its shameful to believe the earth was created, that Adam and Eve were the first humans, that Noah built an ark. That Jesus will return again some day. Don't think so? Go to a university or run for office and tell people you believe these things and see if you don't suffer any shame from them.

We act shamefully... or at least we should. We are supposed to serve our brothers and sisters. Not just getting them a coffee or helping them build a fence that's all great but that can actually bring honour to the giver. It was shameful in Jesus' day for Him to wash the disciples dirty feet. It was so shameful that it embarrassed Peter. We are to serve and think of everyone else as more important than ourselves and give honour to the most lowly members of our congregation.

Some churches today are so focused on entertainment and being cool that their worship has become more like a rock concert than worship. The leader looks cool, sounds really professional and the worship experience  is created to be technically excellent. Now we even have liturgical dance. For the uninformed, this is young attractive women dancing beautifully at the front. I imagine, this is supposed to enhance the already beautiful worship experience. I questioned this to someone who was promoting it and I was told that some young girl might look up to one of these dancers and then that would provide an opportunity to witness and lead her to Christ. I replied, "that sounds logical but Jesus didn't say "if ye be lifted up" He said "if I be lifted up I will draw all men to me"

At the time I knowingly misinterpreted this scripture to make my point but it didn't matter, the person who I was talking to had nothing to say further on the matter. Now I see that it was ok that I misinterpreted it and I'll tell you what I mean. Today we think of lifting up as being highly esteemed, to think better of someone or something but that scripture isn't saying if Jesus is lifted up in our praise as a banner or someone to praise. Jesus was saying that He would be lifted up like the serpent in the wilderness. Like an enemies body hanging on a pole. It means that Jesus will be a curse because the Bible says cursed is anyone who hangs on a tree.

And this why on retrospect I think maybe I was right about quoting this scripture even if I didn't know it at the time. Our leader, our Lord became shame for us. If we are true followers we will follow Him bearing His cross and not scorning its shame but rather rejoicing that we are counted worthy to suffer shame for His name.

I'm going slightly mad

What happens to people when they turn roughly fortyish and for all intents and purposes they appear to go completely mad? Is it hormonal? Mental? Spiritual? Why do upstanding seemingly intelligent people suddenly become unhinged and take leave of their senses.

You know what I mean, the people who suddenly decide that they're going to break their vows and run off with someone else to play house. Leaving their real family in their selfish wake.

The only way I can reconcile this behavior in my own mind is to assume that they have lost their minds because I'm sure of two things: one of us must have taken crazy pills and it wasn't me.

I'd just found the lost key to my mythic life
So I bravely shook free of my kids and wife
I had seminars booked as a second career
Until a still, small voice screamed loud and clear
- Lament for Desmond R.G. Underwood Frederick IV by Steve Taylor

Of course, if they're Christians they would know its sin. Sin that involves breaking a promise made before God. Ananais and Saphira we're killed for lying to the Holy Spirit about some property they sold. I would think that would encourage a person to keep promises they make in front of God. They would also have, I imagine, considered what they were throwing away and I'm sure they would have thought about what effect would be produced on their children.

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." - Hebrews 12:5-6

Still it's disheartening and disturbing to see it happening. When I pray for these people, I of course pray that God will bring restoration and healing but I also pray that God will chastise them. Not to be vindictive but because He loves them and as evidenced by the verse above, God disciplines those He accepts as His children. He will never leave us and He is the God of the impossible. He can bring them back even from the brink of insanity.

On arriving at the end of a road

How do you feel when you come to the end of something?

Do you feel sorrow as you reach the end and realise that whatever it is will now only live on in pictures or your memories? Or do you feel excitement and maybe a little fear trying to imagine what will come next?

If you're like me you feel bittersweet.

I've been looking back at my career and reviewing the ups and downs in my mind. I find the downs tend to reside in my memory which fades but the ups tend to stay in my mind and my centre and whatever part of my brain in which resides the seat of emotion.

My best memory and what I will carry with me for the rest of my life was similar to what the Psalmist described in the 23rd Psalm

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. - Psalm 23:5-6

Fifteen years ago I worked for a company called International Aqua Foods. Every year they gathered all the managers in the company for a weekend management getaway/awards banquet with their significant others. Two days at a resort culminating with dinner/dance, record of performance awards banquet.

It was really cool when I received the invitation in the mail, the banquet was in June at the Tigh Na Mara resort. We drove down island and all the arrangements were made and our place had already been prepared. Everything was paid for. All in all over the years my wife and I attended four of these banquets at places like this, Harrison Hot Springs and Whister. There's nothing better than a free vacation not just because you don't have to pay for it but because it feels so good when someone else decides to pay for you, to invite you and to make all the arrangements on your behalf. Where your room will be, asking you what you want for dinner and deciding where you will sit and at what table. I didn't care if I wasn't going to receive an award or even any accolades I was just happy to be there with my wife and enjoy the atmosphere. 

On this particular midsummer evening I had just raised my first crop of salmon. They were a group of Chinook salmon that we bought from another company as fry. The Chief operating officer of IAF didn't want to grow Chinook because they are slower growing and not as efficient but he agreed to let my boss purchase them because we had a site that wasn't operating and it was better than letting the site sit empty. It was a good deal for us to increase our production but he didn't expect any great results.

Managers from all over North and South America were all gathered together in the banquet hall and the COO was at the podium giving his address. He spoke about the company and key results and then he began to speak about me and the results of my site. I felt uncomfortable but obviously interested to hear what he was going to say.

I need to pause there and give you some background on the people sitting at my table with me. Of course there was my wife and I, my boss and his wife, I think two other site managers and their wives and one other manager that I'm going to call Calvin.

Calvin had some good points about him he was really knowledgeable and experienced. At times he could be a nice guy but every once in a while he would change into a completely different person. His Mr Hyde was a a psychological juggernaught crushing everyone in his path with his rapier wit and cruel tongue. When this personality manifested he was extremely intimidating. Few people ever stood up to him. Some avoided confrontation others felt if they took a stand that  he would bring an accusation against them to the boss and they would be fired. The boss's kids called him "Uncle Calvin"?

I won't bore you with all the details but when I worked for Calvin he had me under his thumb and later when we were peers for some reason he still held a power of intimidation over me until one day when I had a heated confrontation with him. After that we never had another problem. 

You get the idea lets go back to the IAF banquet...

The COO was speaking about me and the crop I had raised, I don't remember his exact words but it seemed to me that he went on for a little bit saying how pleased he was with the Chinook performance, the harvest quality, sales profit and my work. That was a great moment in my career. Great to be commended in front of my wife but that wasn't the greatest moment. That was still to come.

After his speech and all the awards were handed out the COO made his rounds from table to table, shaking hands and speaking to the people at the different tables. And then he came to our table.

"Well done", he said to me and shook my hand. Then smiling he turned to Calvin "Now why couldn't you ever grow fish like that Calvin?!" and then he proceeded to repeatedly and exuberantly slap Calvin on the back laughing "HA HA HA HA!" 

I was on cloud nine basking in the sweetness of an absolutely perfect moment. Poor Calvin his head shaking with every thump on the back looked like he had just eaten a lemon. For me it was a little tiny hint of heaven.

Shaking with fear and excitement

Standing at the edge of my life in this ragged tent 

I'm glad I'll be pushed and won't have to jump

You've covered every expense

You've made all the arrangements

Vindicated basking in the light of the Son

It doesn't matter what I do there

Perfectly and infinitely better 

Like arriving home at a holiday destination

Not in vain

Do you ever worry that you might be missing something?

Not your keys or your favourite TV show but something more important... something you're supposed to be doing.

I worry about that.

When I read my Bible and then look around at my life I start to wonder. Is it ok that I'm working at a secular job and not really doing much of consequence in relation to eternity?

Then I remember something that happened in my past...

Years ago I was in Tofino working as a salmon farm tech with a pretty unique crew. There was Mel the site manager. He was 7 feet tall with a wandering glass eye. Roger. He was an ex-Navy seal who had once been fired out of a submarine torpedo tube. "Larry" was on the lam from the law for practicing as a sex psychologist without any credentials. Nick, I don't remember anything strange about him except that he sometimes brought his wife out with him... and oh yeah she was a witch. Not to say that she was mean but rather that she could cast spells and such. Then Dave, Ren, Glenn and me.

After some time the company decided that they were going to shut down the farms in the area where we worked. As you can imagine morale and productivity plummetted. Mel quit and Roger and Nick got temporary promotions.

My newly promoted supervisors would stay in the house and watch TV and expected all of us to do the same. Once when I was going out to feed the salmon Nick asked me "Where are you going? Its raining out there."

It was weird, I felt guilty for not working hard and I felt guilty for even working at all.

Then one day out of the blue a strange boat showed up. I was feeding when the boat pulled up to the site and Nick and the rest of the guys came scurrying out of the house. Turns out it was a senior manager with the company. He came out to talk to me and said he had been travelling around and I was the only one that he had found feeding fish.

Long story short when they shut all the sites down I was one of the few guys who kept my job and got a transfer to another site.

I like to think about that experience because it might be analogous to how I feel now. I feel like I'm not doing much I'm no Billy Graham, I'm not smuggling Bibles into North Korea or helping to build a new church but I am teaching my kids and the few kids at Sunday school Biblical truths.

Peter became a disciple of Jesus in John 1:42 but still worked as a fisherman until Luke 5:8 and then when asked, he left everything including his greatest success.

Maybe its not so important what I do but that I'm willing to do whatever I'm asked.
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. - Hebrews 10:35-36

Jawbone heap

“Out of the eater came something to eat, and out of the strong came something sweet” - Judges 14:14a

The story of Samson has always interested me. In particular, the episode when he tore a lion limb from limb and then later scraped some honey out of its decaying carcass. He ate it and gave some to his parents but neglected to tell them that he found it in what would amount to the ancient equivalent of road kill on a hot desert road.

I’ve spent some time reading this over and thinking about it and trying to discover what this means. I've come to the conclusion that it's the key to the whole story.

After eating the honey Samson went to marry a Philistine woman. Normally, Samson shouldn’t be looking for a wife among the oppressors of his people but God intended this because “He was seeking an occasion against the Philistines” – Judges 14:4. It appears that Samson was a judge with one purpose, to basically drive a crooked stick into a hornet’s nest.

And he was good at it. When he wasn’t killing lions, he was tying foxes tails together with torches, breaking down gates or killing Philistines. The rest of his time was spent chasing women.

At one point he fought an army with nothing but a jawbone in his hand. After the dust settled he surveyed the heaped up bodies and proclaimed that he had killed one thousand men, tossed the jawbone down and named the place “Jawbone heap”. And then he was thirsty. So thirsty, he felt he was going to die and so “he called to LORD and said, “Thou hast given me this great deliverance by the hand of Thy servant, and now shall I die of thirst and fall into the hands of the uncircumcised?” But God split the hollow place that is in Lehi so that water came out of it. When he drank, his strength returned and he revived. Therefore, he named it En-hakkore, which is in Lehi to this day. So he judged Israel twenty years in the days of the Philistines.”

The enemy is still roaming about like a young lion looking for someone to devour. God can give us superhuman strength to defeat the lion but here’s the rub… Samson went back and turned and looked at the decaying corpse off to the side of the road when he should’ve just put it in the rear view mirror and not looked back. He was curious and he saw some temptation in it. His whole life was about looking for pleasure in all the wrong places. Like taking honey from a corpse.

Sometimes he got it right. When he called on God at En-hakkore which means “spring of the caller” God gave him water and this seems to have given Samson the strength to avoid his destructive pleasures for twenty years.

God should always be the source for our strength and refreshment and not the world. When He gives us the victory we shouldn’t look back but have the wisdom to flee youthful lusts instead. I am often quick to ask God for strength but wisdom is greater than strength. Wisdom can keep you from getting into situations where you need it.

an unoriginal sacrifice

“A son honours his father and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honour? And if I am a master, where is My respect?” Says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name . But you say, “How have we despised Thy name?”

“You are presenting defiled food upon My altar.” But you say, “How have we defiled Thee?” In that you say, “The table of the LORD is to be despised.”


“But when you present the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? And when you present the lame and the sick, is it not evil? Why not offer it to your governor? Would he be pleased with you? Or would he receive you kindly? says the LORD of hosts. – Malachi 1:6-8

Last week, a few days before harvest, a toxic plankton bloom hit one of my farms killing a tenth of the salmon we were raising. Like a tree casting its fruit to the ground before harvest. Instead of harvesting we spent the whole week removing a half a million pounds of dead fish.

On the outside I displayed an attitude of determined motivation. But on the inside, the mix of disappointment, pressure, and exhaustion; produced a feeling in me that is best described as melancholy despair. Now, after two days rest, I feel fine but in my Bible reading I came across the passage of scripture in Malachi quoted above and I believed it had meaning for me.

God doesn’t ask me to sacrifice animals because Jesus sacrificed Himself for me but what does He ask me to sacrifice?

Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. – Romans 12:1

I find sometimes I offer God whatever’s left in my day. Time that I wouldn’t offer my work or even myself. I’m ashamed to say I have never even fasted or spent a substantial amount of time in prayer. I’ve fasted a few times for work when I haven’t had time to eat breakfast or lunch but never for God.

I’m going to have to make some changes to prevent my company from suffering more of these kind of losses and more importantly hopefully no one figures out I’m to blame for this last one. If I see any bones in the office on Monday I’ll turn and run straight out of there. (sound of bones rattling in a small leather pouch then spilling onto the boardroom table) “The bones tell me… Hey where’s he going?”

“Will a man rob God? Yet you are robbing Me! But you say, “How have we robbed Thee? In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing Me, the whole nation of you!


Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house, and test me now in this,” says the LORD of hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows.


Then I will rebuke the devourer for you, so that it may not destroy the fruits of the ground; nor will your vine in the field cast its grapes” says the LORD of hosts. – Malachi 3:8-11

Post script
I originally had titled this blog "Lame sacrifices" thinking that title was a clever play on words, but I happened to do a search and came across this blog --> Lame sacrifices where someone has written basically exactly the same thing six months ago. Right down to the same bible verses and title! I'm afraid to look any further in fear that I will discover more evidence that I am an unoriginal blogger.   

Not today

She halted before a pool called Rushy-pond, flanked by the ends of two hedges; a railing ran through the centre of the pond, dividing it in half. Over the railing she saw the low green country; over the green trees the roofs of the town; over the roofs a white flat façade, denoting the entrance to the county jail. On the roof of this front specks were moving about; they seemed to be workmen erecting something. Her flesh crept.
She descended slowly, and was soon amid corn-fields and pastures. In another half hour, when it was almost dusk, she reached the White Hart, the first inn of the town on that side. – The withered arm, Thomas Hardy

I’ve been thinking about something lately. A question that won’t go away. Why aren’t there any miracles today? This supernatural void is so glaring that there’s even an atheist website called “Why doesn’t God heal amputees”. Do we not need miracles anymore?

The story quoted above is about a young woman with a withered arm named Gertrude. She tries every medicine known to man, desperate to be set free from her ailment. She needs a miracle but even though she goes to church she never prays for one. At the end of her rope she breaks down and goes in search of a conjurer named Trendle. The same conjurer who had told her that her arm was cursed.

Trendle’s house was reached at last, however: he was not indoors, and instead of waiting at the cottage, she went to where his bent figure was pointed out to her at work a long way off. Trendle remembered her, and laying down the handful of furzeroots which he was gathering and throwing into a heap, he offered to accompany her in her homeward direction, as the distance was considerable and the days were short. So they walked together, his head bowed nearly to the earth, and his form of a colour with it.

“You can send away warts and other excrescences I know,” she said; “why can’t you send away this?” And the arm was uncovered.

“There is only one chance of doing it known to me. It has never failed in kindred afflictions, - that I can declare. But it is hard to carry out, and especially for a woman.”

“Tell me!” said she.

“You must touch with the limb the neck of a man who’s been hanged.”

She started a little at the image he had raised.

Some people will tell you that miracles do happen today, just not here.

I attended a BBQ recently where someone said exactly that. Two teachers from the Christian school that our kids attend who had been away on sabbatical said they had actually observed miraculous healings. And even heard of dead people coming back to life. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to say when someone drops a bomb like that on your conversation. It fell like an atom bomb and came to a crashing thud in our circle of folding chairs. I made a point of looking around at the group of fairly standard Christians and studied their reactions.

The general response was “Wow! That’s great” followed by an attempt to change the subject. Some had a faraway look in their eyes and I imagine they were trying to decide if the teacher was lying, mad as a hatter or slow coming to a punch line. I like discussing difficult questions so instead of allowing the conversation to transition to something lighter I kicked at the explosive canister lying at our feet. “And so why don’t those things happen here?”

“I’m not sure… maybe we don’t expect it to” was the reply.

My wife says I was out of line. She says, (and I quote) “if you are attending a purely social gathering and you see that a subject is making people uncomfortable, then you should leave it alone, you should not deliberately seek to stir up a hornets nest”. I guess most people don’t want to talk about stuff like that at a BBQ. They want to talk about sports, their favourite TV show or some other trivial matter. It was of no consequence because the rest of the group wouldn’t continue discussing the subject and so I’m still left wondering what the answer is.

By this time the young woman’s state was such that a grey mist seemed to float before her eyes, on account of which and the veil she wore, she could scarcely discern anything: it was as though she had nearly died, but was held up by a sort of galvanism.

“Now!” said a voice close at hand, and she was just conscious that the word had been addressed to her. By a last strenuous effort she advanced, at the same time hearing persons approaching behind her. She bared her poor curst arm; and (the hangman), uncovering the face of the corpse, took Gertrude’s hand, and held it so that her arm lay across the dead man’s neck, upon a line the colour of an unripe blackberry, which surrounded it.

Most people that I know have given up on magic and spells. We’re much more scientific, more logical, more technologically advanced today. We trust our Doctors and modern medicine. I’d still rather trust God, I’d rather He still healed us.

I’d rather Jesus still did things like this…

And He entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand. And they watched Him, whether He would heal him on the Sabbath day; that they might accuse Him.
And He saith unto the man which had the withered hand, “Stand forth”.

And He saith unto them, “Is it lawful to good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? To save a life, or to kill?” But they held their peace.
And when He had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, He saith unto the man, “Stretch forth thine hand”. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other. – Mark 3:1-5