Of wolf and woman

I recently read this story in a Canadian outdoors magazine.

A woman was looking out her window one frigid winter morning. Her house was in the wilderness and looked out over a partially frozen lake. As she took in the scene she saw six deer carefully crossing the lake to the woods on the far shore. The first five reached the woods safely but the sixth, a doe, was slow making the crossing. Suddenly, she stepped onto a weak part of the ice and fell through. She splashed in the icy water and after some time managed to haul herself out and onto the ice again. Breathless and bloodied she stood still and caught her breath.

A raven circled overhead, landed nearby and began pecking at the blood on the ice. The doe watched in silence when she should've left. That was when a pack of wolves crept out of the woods and headed straight towards her. All alone, her companions long since gone, she was trapped between the them and the water and thin ice behind her. She didn't move.

Three wolves continued to walk slowly towards her while the rest waited on the shore. One wolf broke into a run and chased her back into the water and ended up slipping in as well. Wolf and deer fought to pull themselves out. They both got out but the deer was doubly tired this time. Seeing how worn down the deer was the wolf chased her into the water a second time. When she pulled herself out again she was completely exhausted and barely able to stand. She looked at the wolves and back at the water as if to consider her options. Finally, slowly and purposely she returned into the water one final time.

The wolves waited and watched the water intently but she never surfaced again.

Someone close to me had a daughter who somehow ended up living on the street in Vancouver. After several years she came home and when she did she was unrecognizable as the same person. She was pretty once and she's younger than me but she looks about 25 years older now. It's heartbreaking to see someone get separated from their family straying too close to the thin ice of life. She lived with her dad for awhile and then one day she just up and went back to her old life in the city. The same life that chewed her up and spit her out when her youth and beauty was gone. I wonder what drove her to make the choice to return? Did she feel like the wolves of guilt, shame and addiction were surrounding her and giving her no other option? Did it hold a promise of a numbing death? Was she too tired to fight?

The world outside is cold but I feel much colder sitting at my breakfast table with my hot coffee and slippers watching her fate unfold in the lens of my binoculars.