Treading water

I hate failing or losing at anything.

It seems strange that I never get used to it. Sometimes I think it would be nice to slip into a long complacency nap but I keep working. You know that feeling when you’re working out and pushing yourself to do one more repetition. Where does the strength come from to do one more? Or what's in us that finally wins the argument to give up and let go?

If I’m doing the same thing over and over my fruitless determination feels more like foolishness. Let me give you an example from my past:

One day when I was young I was sitting in the Kmart café with two of my teenage friends eating fries and gravy. The fries were served in a rectangular cardboard tray. The kind of tray they give you at the hospital when you feel sick to your stomach. It’s a small tray of fries when you’re a hungry teenager. It infinitely smaller when you’re thirteen with a burning appendix threatening to explode.

Anyways one of my friends decided it would be “funny” to light my cardboard tray of fries on fire. I think he wanted to see me panic and try to put it out. I watched him light the tray with interest. And I remember deciding that I wasn’t going to do anything but keep eating my fries from the flaming tray.

“Dude your fries are on fire”, he says

I kept eating my fries.

Now I don’t think I need to explain the discomfort that a normal person would feel sitting in a public cafeteria with a plate of food burning on their table. The fire first lit, was not that noticeable. But it grew unhindered and as it grew it eventually reached the areas moistened with gravy and then it began to smoke. And not white wispy cigarette smoke but dark black tire-burning smoke.

When my fire-loving friend finally broke down it was no slow crumbling erosion but a full rapid crushing ruin. Even now I can’t prevent myself from smiling as I see him in my memory frantically blowing and tamping out the fire.

I’ve heard it said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. If that’s insanity how would one define sanity? Giving up? Sometimes determination carries the day but there are times when a new paradigm is required. That brings me to my next memory which I didn’t fully understand the meaning of until recently.

I had to do a swimming test for one of the courses I took at work and it involved various skills one of which was being able to tread water for something like two minutes. Treading water for two minutes may sound easy to some and maybe it is but I suggest you try it next time you’re in deep water. Two minutes is a long time to tread water.

I was still young and idealistic and gave it my full effort. I can imagine that I had no problem for the first 30 seconds but then I felt my ability to stay afloat drop off exponentially from there.

At this point I knew I wasn’t going to make it and so I had two choices: 1) Give up and swim to the edge of the pool or 2) Sink underwater and drown. I didn’t want to drown so I said to the trainer standing at the edge of the pool.

“I’m not going to make it”, puffing desperately

“You have to”, he returned coolly, “To pass this course you need to be able to tread water a minimum of two minutes”

“This can’t be right, this is impossible” I thought and then called out to him again “There’s no way I can do it”

At this point my exertions were reaching the limits of my ability. My arms and legs were tired, losing oxygen, beginning to fall out of synch and move inefficiently.

“What will you do if you’re in the ocean and you can’t get out?”, he asked

“I would just float on my back”, I argued

“Fine.” He said to my surprise, “do that then”

So with that I took a deep breath, filled my lungs with air and rested calmly on my back. I could’ve stayed afloat like this for hours. It would’ve been nice to know this at the beginning of the exercise.

We can’t fulfill God’s requirements for us through our own works. The water is real. I could sink in it and drown. But God provided a way for me to overcome the water, namely air. By filling my lungs with air I was able to stay afloat. In a similar way God has provided His Spirit to dwell in us and if we walk in the Spirit, are led by the Spirit and live by the Spirit we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. Instead we will display the fruit of the Spirit.

Action is required on my part but not strength.